I surrender! I wish I could say that and mean it but I am still trying to control the outcomes. Instead I should detach from the outcome and enjoy the journey and allow the Universe to work through me. Ok. That is called surrender. Recognizing that I mess up the flow when I try to control the outcome because I allow my human self to respond instead of leading with my spiritual self. My spiritual self is already in complete surrender but my concious mind is still operating from the mostly human perspective so there is conflict of self.

I realize I already have all I need so what stops me from surrendering completely to my higher self. I will continue to investigate this along my journey. Many blessings!

Week 17 – Imagination….

Simply put, I have had IN THE PAST, a huge struggle with my imagination. So my virtue for this week was imagination. It’s one of those obvious things you just have to be aware to see and utilize. This week started off slow for me, but not because I didn’t see anything that was imagined first but because I was so unaware of the things around me, pretty much everything!, that once was imagined before it became a reality.
I spent a lot of time on the first day saying, you mean I don’t see anything, to myself. Then eureka, this bed I’m sitting on, this TV, this refrigerator, this highway, this car, this phone, this light, this heat, this shovel, these shoes, this hat. I could go on and on but as you can see I filled in all the spots that show how often I saw imagination or my approach seeing things as they are, after they have been created.

Every book, every business or organization was a thought imagined and then brought into fruition. These things show that anything is possible when you can see the finished product at the end before you lift one finger to try and create. I understand with a much more distinct way then ever have, iwhy all the greats say start with the end in mind. Because if you can clearly see the result you want, if you can imagine it then you can create what you want in your life experience. Be blessed!

Week 16-Everything That Seems Difficult Can Actually Become A Blessing….

I have to say that 2019 showed me a whole lot about me. I had been thinking a lot about what I didn’t want to happen and by all means it all happened because I focused on all that could go wrong in 2019. I met someone in December 2018 that changed my entire life.

You know how it is when you meet someone that challenges your idea of what love is. They come into your life all of a sudden. Then you start to dissect them. For me I know I did it because I was afraid to be vulnerable and relinquish control to her because I didn’t know if she knew how to love me. So I challenged her in every way until I almost lost her.

In the moments that I was alone in my thoughts about how I managed to push her away, I had time to examine deeply why I continued to do that in my life. I go into my thoughts of things I dont know to be true and create this whole story about what’s happening before I know what’s happening. Because of that I created arguments where they should not have been, I accused her of things that may or may not have been true. I had no proof of anything so I shouldn’t have allowed my thoughts and of course other people to infect my thoughts of her in that way.

That being said it was one of the most challenging moments that I have ever been in. The relationship was doomed it seemed from the beginning, I think because we both knew the attraction was strong and real but also very scary. From fear of being wrong about the person or being hurt. Afraid that this is just another one of those times I fall for someone who does not fall for me the same way.

Anyway, She has her own set of things to work through and we both created our own stories of each other based on what we thought would happen. Having to step back and examine how we got to that place, opened up my mind to understand the roll I played in it so I wouldn’t do it again in the next relationship. I had excepted that I can not control the outcome and that from now on I would just enjoy the experience and try to consistently create memories that last forever.

Thankfully we have been able to work it out because we both owned our issues. Now communication is wide open. We decided to continue to be friends and date, which I am so excited about. As you can see when you change the way you look at things they can go from difficult to rewarding. I know now what has been holding me back from being happy and enjoying all experiences. I spend way too much thought on the outcome and try to control it versus just enjoying the experience and I think way too much, especially on the things I don’t want to happen.

The realization that every struggle is an opportunity to grow beyond the circumstances is a major part of the journey of life. I myself know that as long as we take up physical space on this Earth we will always experience opportunities for growth. Be blessed!

Week 15 – What Are Your Strengths?

When you go to a job interview, if your like me no matter how many times your were asked the questions what are your strengths and weaknesses you kind of still get a little curious as to why they asked you this question. People typically give the same answers. Trustworthy, independent, hard worker. Nothing wrong with it if those are true answers for you but I think most people say what they think their potential bosses want to hear. But do they honestly know what their true strengths are?

If we could be all the way honest with ourselves we would probably say that my strengths are intuitiveness, connectedness, the ability to learn anything thrown our way, connected to the highest power etc. I could go on and on but hopefully you get the picture. We are nature’s greatest miracle and that my loves is our strength!

Week 14 – Challenging Myself To Not Cheat My Future Self

When you know you have things to do you should just do them…period. In my lifetime I have grown accustomed to half doing it, starting but not finishing, not finishing strong, or any other thing you could think of. This is where I have to draw a line in the Sand with myself. I have to decide if I want to continue on with the same damn life or if I want to grow and improve. Mark told me once your getting something out of walking away. I imagine it was comfort but I can’t sit with myself anymore and not demand better if I am being honest with me I know when I am giving 100% or when I am giving excuses. I promised myself I would not b.s. myself on this journey and I always keep my promises!

So much of my life has been about creating the easiest path or least amount of stress for myself and staying comfortable. I am no longerg willing to be comfortable. I have been back and forth for the last month about my purpose and I was reminded that my old blue print is always going to paint the picture I am use to seeing until l create and accept a new one. To do this I must become the person I wish to be before I can accomplish the goals I wish to accomplish. The future me has focus, a vivid imagination, is intuitive, has true health, lives on her own terms but gives and is willing to receive without hesitation and so much more. She is awesome and I can’t wait to meet her!

Week 13 – Detached But Focused.

When persuing your dream the challenge can be many things. For example, It could be hard to create the vision but knowing that you can create that vision by focusing on your future self daily and many times a day and by affirming out loud who you intend to become also recognizing that if you want to achieve a certain thing you are already that internally you just have to build a bridge to it in your mind so that it may manifest. The key though is to understand that you must detach from the outcome. Yep just focus on the journey but don’t think like, oh I can’t wait until I accomplish this or that just stay focused on what you know to be true and continue to build the bridge by working towards it and affirming it everyday. Detach but stay focused and remember you got this!

Week 12 – Finding Denise

Its great to understand what your feeling. On my journey I have been totally confused and most of the time I still am. However, every now and then I gain tremendous insight on what is necessary to keep moving through all of my stuck moments or otherwise depressing or somber moments. Through it all I realize I am always going to be what I think and feel. I choose to be the greatest version of myself and stay the course on my heros journey.