I was depressed for over 20 years and I had no clue! A lot of that time was spent chasing things and people that were not for me or not good for me. A good chunk of that time was spent feeling sorry for myself and wanting someone to save me from myself! I was dying slowly and did not even realize it. I forgot about my dream! You know the one that all of us have when we are young!
A few years ago I would have said life got in the way but now I truly realize I got in the way. I had been conditioned by my experiences to hide the true me and my feelings so outside of basketball I was numb but I was still creating the cause and effect ripples in my life.
No one wants to believe they are the reason their life sucks! So imagine my surprise when I discovered my thinking and feelings have been creating my whole life experience. So be still, take a good look at your life, what is your theme? What is always happening to you, who are your friends and how are you with them? Are they truly you friends or are they just time and space fillers. Do you love yourself? Are you able to give without expectations, and love without it being reciprocated? If your not happy with your life then something about you is not shining. It wants to but you are dimming your own light. Not the person your married to or dating, not your parents, not your children, not your job or lack of one but you are the reason your not happy.
Most of us believe that when people die you have to mourn them, in reality if you celebrate their life and the blessing of having them in yours, it without a doubt makes the loss easier to manage. You will still have painful moments and you will miss them but their energy never dies and since you love them and vice versa you will always feel them if your open to recognizing their energy left behind. Nonetheless, we were taught that we should be so lost without them and over the top depressed that they are gone. I have lost many people in my life but the loss of my dad taught me to always say things while the person is here, the loss of my brother and good friend Carol taught me to examine life a little closer, because I was missing something, the loss of my niece Porcha taught me that life is so precious and you can be in the midst of a complete 180 in your life but life ends in mid sentence sometimes, so you need to live as much as possible before you die.
The thoughts I had in the past created my experiences by creating effects and those effects became the cause of the ripple effects created in my life. Now I am here and knowing what I know, my intentions are to create another blueprint in order to create new, better and more prosperous effects. I am changing the causes so the effects will be different in the future. I always keep my promises!
I don’t know that the first time I took this course I could even fathom what part ten discusses. I was probably really stuck at “the mind is creative”. Just that much takes time to truly understand and I believe that I still have no clue. I am OK with that. I truly believe that we can only get answers at two points in our lives, when we are ready to receive it or when life needs to really slap us in the face. Some people never respond to being slapped! Never wake up to their purpose or true potential because they allow themselves to respond in self defense. Do we ever ask how did we get here? If your taking this course or just on your own journey to become the greatest you, then you know that it is not your fault that your parents conditioned you to respond to life in a certain way, maybe by their actions or non actions. I am also sorry to let you know that if you are still angry as an adult about what your parents did or did not do then you are the reason your life is the way it is right now. So it would work to your benefit to forgive them and forgive yourself.
Plants grow because the seed is planted and the soil is properly prepped and cared for and so does everything else that wasn’t there and needed to be a thought before it became a thing. We were GOD’s thought before we became a thing and the only way we grow is to use what God has given us. The one key is to realize the connection to GOD and all will come together. Of course you have to work for what you want but you can rest assured that if you are working towards your goal, connected to the source and utilizing the natural laws you are well on your way to manifesting everything you want and need. Part ten states it clearly! If your clear on the goal, the universe will supply you with the resources necessary so stay focused and keep moving in the direction of your dreams.!
There is no greater feeling then knowing that we are all a part of something bigger then most of us know or truly get. That we are all built from the same substance as the Universe and because of that we also have been blessed with the ability to create. Truth is we are always creating in some way, like it or not. What we say, feel, believe and think about the most. Thought is the planting of the seed and how we feel about that thought speeds up the manifestation of it and one we speak on it, over an over and over, well by now you should know that it is your truth. Because you believe it to be yours. This is both scary and awesome. It’s scary because if your not aware of it and you have poor thinking habits and a negative, debilitating mind set then this is your life. However, the reverse is true when you have a more positive mindset.
So many of us have been raised to believe things about ourselves and about other people most of it not always loving and helpful to your own growth and understanding. If you understand the true nature of the I then there is no race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion that is better than the other. The I has no gender or race and does not identify with one specific sexual orientation. As a matter of fact I believe that we have equal parts of all things, it’s just that one shows up as the more dominant based on science.
We as humans for thousands of years have decided to separate ourselves from our real truth. That as pieces of God we are all related and created from the same source. It has been hard to grow up in a world that does not seem to care much for me or for who I am. A black woman, who is also a lesbian. As a child I was reminded of how rough black people had it. I learned about slavery, civil rights and how women were always second and this is a mans world. I learned that me loving women was a sin and I was psychotic for actually accepting that part of me. I became a cutter because I could not change being black or neither did I have the desire to and I did not think of becoming anything other than what God made me but being lesbian, well I was informed that it was a choice so maybe I can cut that away somehow!? I prayed for the removal of that part of my identity because I did not want to disappoint my family. I made life harder even still by once accepting who I was, still wanting and needing to be liked or loved I always gave everyone else what they wanted but I did not do the same for myself. This created years of depression and mental fog and of course no clear direction and vision of who I wanted to become.
To obtain the knowledge and understanding as to why I thought my life sucked and that I could never be anything other then a second class citizen at best, is great but to understand that most of that came as a product of years of mental conditioning to make me believe this about myself and to know that I am removing that old blueprint is enormously gratifying.
Don’t get me wrong the work never ends but the moments of clarity show up more and more everyday! There are so many humans suffering in this world and again most of it comes from a history of what we have been made to believe about how we look and how we identify. This is unfortunate but since I have acquired this knowledge and started to learn the application of it I am much happier and much clearer in the direction I need to go. My purpose is calling and I am answering!
We are all holding the same quilt, instead of trying to pull it away from each other, we should continue to add to it instead. It will then become easier for all of us to hold. – Denise Rembert
I have to push myself this week. There is so much stuff that is showing up, probably because once you start to wake up the sleeping giant the ego starts to fight to stay active. Haanel states in the introduction of week 8 of the Master Keys “you will find that you may freely choose what you think but the result of your thought is
governed by an immutable law! Is not this a wonderful thought? Is it not wonderful to know that our lives are not subject to caprice or variability of any kind? That they are governed by law. This stability is our opportunity, because by complying with the law we can secure the desired effect with invariable precision.” Does this not blow your mind!?
What you think about is going to create your experiences. What you focus on grows effortlessly. The key is to become aware, once you become aware, you need to substitute the negative thought for something positive. This is not an easy task but it is so worth it. commitment to becoming aware and being honest about when you are, clears the path to mental clarity, allowing you to then focus even more on your purpose and actually work towards it. The Law of Substitution is so important in an effort to grow what you truly want to exist in your life. What do you want to create?
This is hard for me! This is a fact! Visualization…I could focus on why I believe this is hard….or why I usually tend to zone out when something is challenging or if there is a part of me that feels like the part of my brain that is capable of visualization is probably on vacation has been since my teenage years. I could blame outside distractions or whatever but I am just not in that place anymore. I believe that everything that I can not do is because of the limitations I place on myself. Mentally, I am fighting with myself continuously.
I surrender to the fact that I have to continue to push forward regardless of the place that I am in right now. I am starting to focus and I know that is key in being able to meditate, visualize and manifest. I can be what I will to be!!! Right now I will to be a master visionary!!! Do It Now!!!
Hanel says in 6:10 of the Master Key, “The effects which are produced in the world without are the result of the action and reaction of the individual upon the universal; that is the process which we call thinking; the brain is the organ through which this process is accomplished”
As human beings we spend a lot of time thinking that we don’t deserve to have the life we want. We spend a lot of time thinking that no one loves us or that we are destined to be lonely, broke and unhealthy for the duration of our lives. If this is what we think then this is who we are. I encourage you to investigate the above statement from Hanel. I don’t suggest you just believe me because I wrote it. Look into this some more and see what you discover. This is your life, and if someone tells you that your thinking is causing you to experience life the way you are. If you’re not happy with the experience then what are you willing to do to discover if this is the truth or not and once you discover your truth, what are you willing to do to improve your life?
This week was just as off-balance as the last but I continue on anyway because I can be what I will to be!
Part 5 of the Master Keys states, “1. At least 90 percent of our mental life is subconscious, so that those who fail to make use of this mental power live very narrow limits.”
So basically almost everything that we do or that our body does is subconscious, breathing, bleeding, thinking, growing hair and nails, the list goes on and on. There are some things that are for survival and there are some that are the product of the type of thinking we take part in. This is mind in action!
This week we had to begin no opinions, out loud or in your mind. This is such a challenge but it is actually really fun to observe yourself.