Week 9- Master Key – The I!

There is no greater feeling then knowing that we are all a part of something bigger then most of us know or truly get. That we are all built from the same substance as the Universe and because of that we also have been blessed with the ability to create. Truth is we are always creating in some way, like it or not. What we say, feel, believe and think about the most. Thought is the planting of the seed and how we feel about that thought speeds up the manifestation of it and one we speak on it, over an over and over, well by now you should know that it is your truth. Because you believe it to be yours. This is both scary and awesome. It’s scary because if your not aware of it and you have poor thinking habits and a negative, debilitating mind set then this is your life. However, the reverse is true when you have a more positive mindset.

So many of us have been raised to believe things about ourselves and about other people most of it not always loving and helpful to your own growth and understanding. If you understand the true nature of the I then there is no race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion that is better than the other. The I has no gender or race and does not identify with one specific sexual orientation. As a matter of fact I believe that we have equal parts of all things, it’s just that one shows up as the more dominant based on science.

We as humans for thousands of years have decided to separate ourselves from our real truth. That as pieces of God we are all related and created from the same source. It has been hard to grow up in a world that does not seem to care much for me or for who I am. A black woman, who is also a lesbian. As a child I was reminded of how rough black people had it. I learned about slavery, civil rights and how women were always second and this is a mans world. I learned that me loving women was a sin and I was psychotic for actually accepting that part of me. I became a cutter because I could not change being black or neither did I have the desire to and I did not think of becoming anything other than what God made me but being lesbian, well I was informed that it was a choice so maybe I can cut that away somehow!? I prayed for the removal of that part of my identity because I did not want to disappoint my family. I made life harder even still by once accepting who I was, still wanting and needing to be liked or loved I always gave everyone else what they wanted but I did not do the same for myself. This created years of depression and mental fog and of course no clear direction and vision of who I wanted to become.

To obtain the knowledge and understanding as to why I thought my life sucked and that I could never be anything other then a second class citizen at best, is great but to understand that most of that came as a product of years of mental conditioning to make me believe this about myself and to know that I am removing that old blueprint is enormously gratifying.

Don’t get me wrong the work never ends but the moments of clarity show up more and more everyday! There are so many humans suffering in this world and again most of it comes from a history of what we have been made to believe about how we look and how we identify. This is unfortunate but since I have acquired this knowledge and started to learn the application of it I am much happier and much clearer in the direction I need to go. My purpose is calling and I am answering!

We are all holding the same quilt, instead of trying to pull it away from each other, we should continue to add to it instead. It will then become easier for all of us to hold. – Denise Rembert

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